so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Me too!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
