You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She bit a glass in half.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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