we're chasing vodka with high fives
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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