We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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