The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
