id be glad to
dude i'm inner monologue high
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
