Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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