wanna go halves on a baby?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
