This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
