Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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