i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
