first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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