Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
