i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
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I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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