i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
