I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is the high leading the old right now
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
