i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize