Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
