her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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