I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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