My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize