Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
