is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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