So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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