Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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