Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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