Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
