Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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