And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
