you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize