its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
