Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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