grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
