If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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