Already got asked if we're dating
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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