I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
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Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.