I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.