maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.