If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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