Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
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Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.