I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.