Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now

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(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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(419): View more from Ohio

vegan vag taste different. and not a good different

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(714): View more from California

so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.

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(816): View more from Missouri

And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin

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(419): View more from Ohio

Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

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(757): View more from Virginia

My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.

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