Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
