I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want her autograph on my taint
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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