Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
