Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
