and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
