I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
is it fun? or sober?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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