is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
