You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i will never coherently bang her
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You dont lie about slip and slides
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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