so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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