The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
