i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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