This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
