Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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