My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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