i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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