I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
