You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
